FUNNY & SAD ((o p e n))

[SONJA MARIE WADE]

AND I FIND IT KINDA FUNNY
I FIND IT KINDA SAD!
all the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had !

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The small figure came to a halt over the dead body, as it slumped to the ground below her. Another one. She huffed and glanced down, running a hand through her caramel curls as she placed her gun back in her clutch. These boys were getting smarter each and every time; obviously not wise enough for her, however. Her deep brown eyes looked at the bullet hole, a large one that had shattered the young soldiers breast. YoungYes, this one was young. He couldn't have been a day older than she, for his skin still seemed soft and she found no wrinkle on his face. His blond hair was matted with blood, thick and deep red that covered his entire face. Bending down, Sonja Wade used a black gloved hand to brush a lock of hair away from his cold cheeks, taking in her prey. He was handsome; probably had a girl back home waiting for him. Sorry sweetheart, your man won't be coming home.

With a sigh, Sonja stood back up and looked around, searching for one of the boys to come running out. Maybe they hadn't heard the gun fire, or maybe they already knew it was her. Seeing no one, the young Brit looked back down to the dead Nazi with a scowl. She would have to scalp him, she just knew it. It's not that she hated doing such a nasty thing to a corpse, it was just....well...she just couldn't quite get it. The last time she tried she practically chopped the lad's head off, which kept her away from scalping for some time. But now she had a body, and his scalp was still in place. So, either she leave it there in the middle of the woods for the crows and other nasty creatures to devour, or...she take it back to the boys.

"100 Nazi scalps. You owe me 100 Nazi scalps.”

The scraping sound of the dead man's legs came ringing through the clearing, as the little woman dragged it behind her. She was stronger than most women her size, so she didn't have much trouble dragging the lifeless gestapo through the trees. Her tiny gloved hand held onto the cold, clamy Nazi's, as she stopped and called out for the big man.”Boys!” she whispered through the trees, not wanting to be too loud and startle anyone; no longer hiding her British accent with a cheesy French one. She hated pretending to be French, but she was believable so she had to keep up with it. ”One of you bastards get out here! I've got a present for you!”she shouted, pulling the dead man out in front of her. While she waited, the small Brit dusted off her fine white suit; a gift she had received not long ago from a rich admirer. This would be the last time she would dress nice to come see the Basterds.
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SO THIS IS GOING FOR; ANYONE AND WE ARE WHERE? AT THE BASTERD'S CAMP I MUST SAY THE FOLLLOWIN' I'LL GIVE LOTS OF FUNTIME TO ANYONE WHO POSTS! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE CLOTHESI GOT ME? SEXY SUIT HEY, THE MUSIC'S PLAYED BY? GARY JULES OH CHRIST , I DUNNO IF THIS IS OR DONE OR NOT  TOTALLY DONE WELL MY SCHOOL PROJECT WAS WRITTEN BY ME WITH SOME HELP FROM  CFACE @ CAUTION 2.0

[DONNY DONOWITZ]

* BURN THE LIARS !
yeah, everybody knows this world is crazy.

It was funny, Gabriel had never expected to see one of the Basterd's at this particular time in the morning. The man had practically pounded on his door, yelling at him to hurry up and open the door before something happened. Then he'd spent most of his time trying to understand the fast talking Basterd, before letting him go and wandering out, into the night with blatant disregard for the curfew. Which, he had assumed didn't apply to him because he was, in fact, English and not French. At least there had been no German officers wandering around the street as he walked in the middle of the road staring at the floor, thinking about things. Not too long ago [just the other day], his lover had failed to show at the restaraunt, sending one of the maitre'd's over to him with a letter. A goodbye. Gabriel hated it, he'd ended up crying and now that he thought about it more, the more he felt in desperate need of a.. drink. And he didn't usually drink, but was going to.

Gabriel, miraculously, found a bar that was still open and worked his way through three glasses of whiskey before stumbling over the air and slamming into a German officer, who had a gun in his hand. Now, the gun had been taken off the safety, so you could image what happened. Someone got shot, and whilst Gabriel was in no fit state to tend the injured, he was recognised immediately as a man of first aid knowledge and was set too work on tending the injured German officer, straight away. Unfortunately he didn't make it and Gabriel managed to escape a sentence by pointing out that, he had been shot in the head, rendering him dead instantly. A round of whiskey was brought and the twenty year old male had to drink the next three glasses before he was allowed to go back to his house. Which he had no intention of doing. The night was still young.

Taking his leave, Gabriel stumbled around the bar, fell up the stairs and made an acquaintence with the wall before he managed to get a hold on himself and wander down the street, a stupid grin on his face. His white shirt was covered in blood, several buttons were open and his tie was almost coming off of neck. Taking it in two fingers, Gabriel pulled it up, around his head and tightened it so that it hung around his forhead. Making his way to the Basterd's camp to see if he could crash out there for the night, seeing as he couldn't remember where he had put his house. Suddenly a voice rang out through the night and Gabriel tripped over a tree branch; he lost his shoes and scrambled to his feet, going in the general direction of the female voice.

“I like presents!” He called back, stumblig over to where Sonja was standing. He looked down at the body on the ground and tilted his head, slowly falling to one side. “...wow, that's so prettyy.” He slurred, referring to the way the blood had gone.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN FRANCE GABRIEL DECIDED TO GO FOR A WALK AT THE BASTERD'S CAMP, IN CLOTHES WHERE HE MET UP WITH SONJA WADE AND FINISHED SPEAKING TO HER IN A LOT OF WORDS. OF COURSE, HE DID HAVE HELP FROM 'SONG' BY KIDS IN GLASS HOUSES. JULES MADE EVERYTHING AND IS NOW GOING TO FINISH LISTENING TO MOMENTS BETWEEN SLEEP BY VERSAEMERGE, BECAUSE SHE THINKS THIS THREAD WILL BE RATHER EPIC. BUT STILL LOVES TORI! CIAO!